advancing 080918 breath and rest
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What would you say about breathing that IS conscious, and if it is nigh impossible to avoid this? In my case, sometimes (going back to teen years, at least) I have shortness of breath due to deep-seeded trauma and anxiety, and often also environmental and health factors… of course this is a major reason why I am inclined to practice sitting/laying (stationary, anyway) meditation – but before I began that, I practiced various yoga forms and pranayama for years. As an example, during my practice of this meditation I found myself at least half the time consciously breathing so I could get full breaths – I CAN breathe “without consciousness” but then the breathing is shallow. Which is preferable for these exercises – awareness of shallow, but more regular and calm, breath, or awareness of deep and whole, but strained and irregular breath?
As you say, breathing that is conscious, Awareness in the moment, is the only matter. Length of breath, number of breaths, and such are games that tame. Awareness is the training. Sounds like the experiences of your life have included benefit within the difficulty. Thank you for being a warrior of Awareness.